The reaLities Of life
by LadyofWinter3601
Summary: A Jared and Kim fanfic. The reaLities Of life is a pain for most people. Jared and Kim both have problematic lives. This is their story. Warning for language and very M rated scenes, may be unsettling to some readers.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

 _ **Jared's Point of View**_

How can he know I'm ready. I don't even know if I'm ready. School is not ready for a wolf to join.

Sam. He always has to use his Alpha voice. He always has to be in control. Well it will be his fault if I hurt someone.

I know he is only trying to help. My Mom was getting pretty worried but I need more time. It's only been three weeks away from school, away from lots of people. Sam said he took two weeks to turn human again. I wonder how long I'd take without Sam helping me.

When I first phased, it took me three days to become human again. I bolted the second I knew I wasn't human, Sam was a wolf then so he found me in a couple minutes. I was way too freaked out to listen to him for a while. When I finally chilled out enough to be a human again and I was just standing there, naked, in the forest.

Not that I was ashamed, I have a pretty good body. I'd been gaining muscle lately and growing so that helped. I still don't want a guy seeing my junk though. I'd rather Penny did.

My girlfriend Penny, argh, I'd have to see her today. I've been avoiding her since I turned, we've been kinda dating for a few months. Not really a relationship just sex, we hang out sometimes too. I wouldn't usually put up with her drama, always nagging and needy, but she is really hot.

Being a wolf makes me really horny too. This does not help with not being able to see Penny. I can't even handle things on my own since my memory could slip.

I can't be near anyone, Sam is worried about me losing control. I get it, we've both been close, I've never let it take over. I could handle some people better than say a school full of people. Sam won't listen.

I'm grateful for Sam. He's been there for me through everything, he was there when I turned. He was a wolf at the time, so he _heard my thoughts_ when I first turned. I know it is completely insane, shapeshifters can hear each others thoughts. The crazy award goes to... Jared Cameron. At least it's only in wolf form.

I couldn't bear someone in my head every second of every day, not even Sam who understands. Sometimes a guy needs privacy. Privacy would have been good last night when I had no way to relieve stress since I'm not good at keeping thoughts to myself yet.

School is sooo not the answer to being a shapeshifter, I should be running patrol of the town, not learning a ton of shit that is useless since I'm supposed to stay and protect La Push for my life. Stupid Alpha Voice. I have no choice but to bare the boredom and lecturing of Quiluete Tribal School.

 _ **\\-**_

 _ **Kim's Point of View**_

Great. My life is just great.

It has been three weeks since I have seen Jared Cameron. I know it's ridiculous and pathetic. I still miss him. I don't even know him properly.

I feel stupid. We have never even had a conversation. Him saying 'Hi' to me when we first met in Kindergarten. But then he just ran off to play with the other kids, so I don't count that. Neither do I count 'Can I have a pen?'. This I blushed at and gave him my only good pen. That being our last encounter, nearly a month ago, I had used a half broken pen for the three remaining periods of that day.

It's starting to get weird though. He hasn't been in school for weeks. There are many rumours of course but I don't think anyone actually knows why he isn't here.

Now I am really wondering. Not like it has been playing on my mind for the duration of his absence. Is he ill? If so, it must be bad to be off for weeks? No, everyone would know, his mother would have told the school that. Has he gone on a holiday? Unlikely, people in La Push aren't really those sort of people, nor do many have enough money to go for a three week holiday. If they did they would just go in the summer holidays.

One rumour is especially odd. Tom, one of my kind-of-friends-that-I-only-eat-lunch-with-occasionally, told me Jared has been taking steroids. That he had been hanging out with Sam Uley often and he was becoming just like Sam.

La Push, our little town, is run by a council. The council members, elders, are passed down each generation. Sam is an exception. His father left him and his mom when Sam was a baby; his grandfather was on the council though. The current elders consist of four people - Sam,illy Black, Old Quil and Harry Clearwater.

Billy Black has a son called Jacob who is a junior like me but I don't really know him. He is best friends with Embry Call and Quil Ateara. Quil's grandfather is Old Quil, this town is really interconnected.

Harry Clearwater has two kids, a boy called Seth or something, I don't know him at all, he's a freshman, bright and happy. Unlike his sister. Leah Clearwater is Sam Uley's ex. When I was a freshman three years ago, they were the school's power couple. Some months back though, they broke up. They left school a few years ago but everyone still knew about them. It was the talk of La Push. Sam supposedly is in love with her cousin and Leah now hates them both. It's a close, small town. I don't remember much else about him.

Most people think Sam's a bad guy. I don't know him that well, but he never seemed that way. Now people say he is doing steroids since he has grown really tall and muscular. And Jared is hanging out with him. I don't know what to believe. I don't want Jared to be a mini-me of Sam. I want him to be my Jared. I can't help hoping, but I worry more. He's got to be okay.

I need to stop worrying about him. Damn it! I need to stop thinking about him all together. My diary is starting to feel sick with all the same writing - 'Jared and Kim', 'Kim and Jared', 'Kim Cameron' - and 'Jared' in a heart. What else would you write in a diary if not your eternal crush?

My Grandmother gave me this one for my last birthday in September (23rd). I felt bad for not using it so I decided to use it as more of a notebook. All I ever write is Jared. It kind of fits though. You write about your feelings in a diary, the only person I have feelings towards excluding tolerance and hate, is Jared.

I feel like it's more than a crush with Jared. It has lasted since I was eleven. I did have an on-off crush on him for years before that - since the first day or kindergarten to be exact - but it doesn't count. I'm seventeen now, I know how I feel, I have real feelings for Jared. I will never surrender to unrequited love with him. I just really like him.

Even though I do know I should just get over him, I can't. I like him and there is nothing I can do. So i'm still here at my little lunch table with my few friends, that i'm not particularly close with, writing Jared and Kim and drawing hearts in my diary. While glancing over at his usual lunch table trying to be sneaky so no one notices.


	2. Chapter 1 - Introductions

**Chapter One - Introductions**

 ** _Kim's Point of View_**

I am not a person that anybody notices. Well I do have the three lunch acquaintances. We're those awkward people in the high school who have no real friends and sit together because there aren't enough tables for us each to have one to are nice people, weird like me. I am shy, very shy. I don't ever talk unless I have to. Even then it just sounds awkward, which is what I am.

Christie always ends up annoying people. She doesn't mean to, although she never gives much thought about what she is going to say. She doesn't care. She is blunt, honest and says what she thinks. This usually annoys people, that annoys her and she is bad-tempered so it never goes down well. That said, if you were in an argument you'd want her on your side.

Tom earned his place at the freak table by trying to kiss the captain of the football team, Matt. Matt was friends with Tom and was okay that he is gay, except Matt being a little bit pre-cautious after he told him. At some party Tom tried to kiss him but Matt freaked out and told everyone there horrible things about Tom. So from then on Tom sat with me, Christie and Laurie.

Laurie is just dazed out. She is the kind of person who has a generally h _igh/mellow_ personality. She freaks people out a bit, thought when Tom or Christie talk to her she has conversations. Maybe they've just gotten used to her. Like they have gotten used to me not talking much. If I look too upset they'll ask why or if there is some exciting gossip at school they might ask my opinion. Most of the time they just say hello when I sit down with them and leave me to my lunch, diary and glancing.

What the hell! Jared is actually here today. I am never getting over this. He's 'alone' at a table and his friend Paul is trying to talk to him, asking him where he has been and what happened. Paul is shouting really which is what make me look in the first place and I don't understand why Jared won't talk to his best friend.

"Shut up Paul, I don't want to talk about this!" Jared cut Paul off mid-rant, shouting back.

Paul looked shocked, a little hurt almost. It soon faded and he was looking so angry again. Paul had a temper and Jared was always the one to calm him down a little if he was getting a bit out of control.

"Jar, what the fuck is going on with you!" He questioned further, projecting his annoyance at Jared through his words, and their volume.

Jared didn't bother to answer him again as he just ran out through the emergency exit of the cafeteria, looking angrier than Paul. Actually shaking with anger it was scaring me. I felt my eyes widen, and was left wondering. What was happening to Jared?

He was always kind of an annoying guy, in his jokey, douchy, bigheaded way. He wasn't a bad person. He was popular and carefree, funny, really cute and he was dating Penny Moore. She was lucky, I would never even get a chance with him. He is so far out of my league, I would have to run miles to _see_ it.

Not that it mattered. What on earth could _I_ say to Jared Cameron. I've never said a single thing to him. I hardly think I could. As I said I'm shy. It's not just a little bit as in I don't really like public speaking, or a medium amount were I am normal except taking a minute to get comfortable around people. I am not quite one of the super shy people who's worst nightmare is talking to multiple people or meeting a new person.

I am always shy around everybody, I hate talking to lots of people and it's not that I have anything against people I just can never think of anything good to say or I end up stuttering or uh-ing and erm-ing or saying the wrong thing. It's better that I'm quiet.

The remainder of lunch would have been boring apart from everyone was now talking about Jared and his angry outburst. I would think _at least they weren't still making up rumours as to why he left_ , except now the rumours are connected and people are getting really into why he has been acting weird.

I want them to stop and get over it and mind their own business. Only I want to know too. I'm never going to know so I'll keep trying to stop thinking about it and give Jared his privacy.

Silently, I walked to history with Laurie. She was staring out of the windows in the hallway as we passed each one and at the rain outside. I have no clue what she was thinking about, it rained almost constantly around here. There was nothing new about the rain. I suppose Laurie had found something odd or something beautiful about the rain like how it is water and elemental.

I don't mean to sound judgy but she confused me and I overthink too much already so I should really leave these little things be. Good thing we were at Mr Sandal's History class room.

Jared wasn't in his seat yet. My seat, next to his, making this my favourite class in some ways although it was mainly annoying seeing as he just ignored me. And I was failing the class because I couldn't concentrate on the work with him so close to me. God, I'm so pathetic.

Although I have tried, I can't help hoping. When I see him, I smile. Still, after him sitting next to me for a year, never talking to me. Not noticing at all, acting like I'm not there. I'm totally invisible to him. I still like him. He is dating another girl, a pretty girl, though not up to his standard, as she doesn't have much personality, more of a chest and social status. Who I am nothing compared to. Unless you count how good I am at having no friends or that I get okay-good grades. I still like him.

I sit down. I get my books and stuff out and lay them on the desk, ready for the lesson, like always. I see him walk into the classroom, nearly late. But Mr Sandal isn't here yet either. I look at him, his shoulders hunched, his head down. The room is quieter for a second, then louder as the whispers develop between intrusive students.

He sits down, like he was in a rush to get here. He must want the lesson over. I can hear snippets of conversations, all about him. For his sake, I'm wishing he doesn't hear them. These aren't nice things, if I wasn't used to worse, I'd be crying. Feeling his pain. I glance up at him, he is looking straight forward, trying to ignore people I assume. I took my hair behind my ear and look at him just as he turns in my direction.

I'm not quick enough to look away. He sees me. And stares. I cannot possibly imagine how to describe that look. It was like he was perplexed with me. If I were more pignant, I'd believe it were love at first sight. I'm more realistic, that would never happen. Even if it could Jared had seen me many times, he hadn't cared one bit.

I turn away to check that he is actually looking at me like that, as it really is unlikely. He is probably looking at Michelle who sit a row across from me. She was beautiful, she has the general La Push features, on her they just look better. Most girls were envious and guys want her. But Jared has Penny, who is just as pretty really.

I turn back to Jared, confused. No one had been looking our way. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Except Jared. He had closed his mouth, having got over whatever kind of shock seeing me must have been for him. Maybe he just realised he sat next to someone. I don't know. He still hadn't looked away, and it was nice that I wasn't invisible to him anymore, but my hands are starting to shake with nerves.

Thank Goodness Mr Sandal walked in and started talking to the class. He couldn't just stare at me for a whole hour, especially not if he was supposed to paying attention. And he probably needed to, to catch up.

 ** _\\-_**

 ** _Jared's Point of View_**

She was the personification of perfection. I read that in a book somewhere I didn't really know what it meant until _her_.

She was amazing. I just couldn't stop looking at her. I had to know more about her, hell I had to know everything about her. I didn't want her to keep any secrets from me, and I couldn't wait to share all of mine.

I don't understand what just happened. I had mentally prepared myself for another shit class. I sat down in my usual seat in history and saw her. Dark hair had covered her face, she was huddled over a notebook. I saw my name. Before I saw her, I was weirded out, when I'd seen her it had gave me hope.

I'd sat down and was ready to give up and go home. Paul had made me angry enough to need a run at lunch. We were friends and I felt bad, maybe soon he'll be a wolf too and we can be cool again. I just stared forward waiting for it to be over although it hadn't even started. I saw out the corner of my eye she turned to look at me. I was wondering if I knew her, maybe we slept together or something.

I hate myself now for thinking about her like this but it seemed the most likely thing. I would have known if I'd had sex with her. It was a dream to think about sex with her. I'd turned to look at her and I was hit with every good emotion towards her. I loved her and so much more. She was mine and I was hers. We were made to be together. We were perfect for each other. She was beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary in every single way.

I would never let her go. I would be with her forever. I would protect her until my death. I would love her forever. I'd be there for her whenever she needed me. I'd be anything she needed. I would be hers, only ever hers.

I've never felt anything like it before. Maybe it was a wolf thing. I'd have to ask Sam. And I'd have to ask this girl who she was, she must be new. I was off for three weeks so she would be used to school, by then. It made the most sense.

I love her blush. When I'd realised she felt awkward with me staring at her, I was filled with guilt. I looked away but couldn't help stealing glances. I am trying to not be obvious. Even with super wolf senses I can't be focused on anything other than this girl. This fucking amazing woman.

She is unimaginably fantastic. She has dark, straight, sleek hair. I wouldn't usually notice stuff like that. She makes me see it. Her hair reminds me of a woman-in-a-commercial's hair (that's where I got 'sleek' from) only _hers_ is much better.

She has Quiluete features, hair, skin but unlike many here she has green eyes instead of dark brown. You wouldn't notice if you didn't really look. Since I couldn't stop staring I noticed. They were so dark you'd think brown but they blended into deep green. Beautiful.

They were gracefully shielded by her dark eyebrows. Even they were minions of their kind, utter supremacy. They weren't drawn on or styled in some unnatural way. I don't think she wore any make up. She was natural. Her eyebrows were straight above her eye and then accentuated the curve of her eye as they arched.

Her russet skin was flawless. Literally not one spot or line. She had slight under-the-skin spots, hardly noticeable, giving her face texture. She had a small, rounded, no, yeah, her cheeks were rounded and then her angular jawline made it, a soft firm edge. Maybe heart-shaped, I don't know, it just looks good.

Her skin looks soft, I wanted to reach out and hold her, feel her skin so gently she could hardly feel it and so slowly she couldn't mistake it. Maybe when we are not in the middle of an infinite lecture on some old shit I could work on getting towards these levels of intimacy.

She had a cute nose, probably smaller than average. It was gently sloped and delicate like the rest of her looked. A little turned up at the end, giving her dignity. She doesn't act stuck up, well she hasn't in the thirty minutes I have known her, she doesn't know how beautiful she is. She will when I finally get to talk to her. I want to tell her everyday, that when I see her, all I see is her, and she is the most beautiful person, in any world, any lifetime.

I've never sounded so prancy and girly. She makes me want to embrace every way of loving her. And I will. I will do anything for her.

And her lips, red and rich. They were naturally darker than most and I could see that she bit the bottom one. She had lip balm on and they glistened and looked plumper and more kissable. I decided they were my ultimate goal.

I nearly growled in the middle of class thinking along them lines so I moved on. That was a wrong move. My gaze travelled down her body. Her neck, collar bone and breasts. I sucked my breath in and admired for a second before I got my sanity back.

She deserved better than me eye-fucking her. She was much more than her body, however spectacular. I'd blame the supernatural horniness but I'd check her out anyway. I tried to pay attention for a minute, I really did, then I saw her glance at me.

Her eyes were even more alluring when they were aimed at me. Her stare caught mine and I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight and my palms sweaty. No one effected me as much as she did. I was more aware of myself this time and stopped my jaw from falling to the ground like the first time. I took in all of her beauty, her face had immaculate symmetry. Her mouth was slightly open, making a few front teeth visible. They also were a natural white and straight as a fence.

Her soft cheeks blazed scarlet and she turned away from me. I couldn't see much of her anymore, I stared just in case I might. She returned to scribbling away the lesson's notes in her notebook. The one with my name in it, I hope it was me, not someone else called Jared who she was thinking about.

Fuck. What if she has a boyfriend. She should. She was unbelievably pretty and probably smart by the amount of work she is writing down. I didn't matter I would wait for her. She and I were made to be together. I don't know why, I just knew it.

 ** _\\-_**

 ** _Kim's Point of View_**

Still, he hadn't looked away. We were halfway through the lesson. Mr Sandal had talked for a few minutes and then gave us a questionnaire sheet about what we learnt last lesson. Jared hadn't even written anything. I hadn't written much but I did now know a small part of it. Simply because for the last few lessons I didn't have the distraction of sitting next to Jared.

He did look at the sheet when Mr Sandal gave it to him. So at least Mr Sandal won't think he is crazy. He didn't even get a pencil out. Fair enough that he wouldn't know any of the answers having missed the lessons but he could write something down, a guess, or not solely look at me.

"Mr Cameron, why is it that you can't look away from Miss Campbell?" Mr Sandal questioned. Making me jump at the sudden interruption of his own requested silence.

"Mr Cameron!" He said again, annoyed that Jared hasn't stopped looking. Most of the class was now too. I'm starting to feel even more nervous with all the people looking at me. I'm going bright red. Jared must have noticed because as soon as I felt it, he finally looked away.

"Sorry Sir." He replies bluntly. He was leaning back on his chair now, appearing back to his carefree attitude. He is looking mainly at Mr Sandal now, but glancing at me frequently. It feels like he is checking I'm still here.

"Not a great explanation," Mr Sandal remarked, sarcasm not suiting teachers, "Get back to your quiz."

Jared looked at his quiz properly for a minute, signed his name and fixed his gaze upon me. He did run his eyes over to our teacher occasionally, to avoid getting into trouble. Mr Sandal was satisfied when he saw Jared start to write, he didn't yet realise it was only a name at the top of the sheet.

 ** _\\-_**

 ** _Jared's Point of View_**

"Mr Cameron!" Mr Sandal nearly shouted. I turned realising that annoying sound I just heard was him. He asked me something about a Miss Campbell. It clicked. That must be her surname. Campbell. I wonder if she likes it, will she want mine instead? Will she change it of her own will? Is it her father's? Is it a long family name? I like it.

I never had a problem with the history teacher before but now he had taken her away from me. He was making me angry. My worries about not being ready are nearly confirmed as my enraged tremors start up. I stare at him, trying to literally shoot daggers. Sadly that is not in my range of capabilities. Neither is will power to deprive myself of her.

I see her anxious look, a slight shake of her own. I calm in her gaze. I go back to my old self. May as well try to fit back in with school if I have to stay. If I have History every day I won't leave until she does. I glance at her, I can't stop myself.

"Sorry Sir," I act the student. I lean back, my chair at a precautions angle. As if I would be sorry for wanting to see her.

"Not a great explanation," Said Mr Sandal, the idiotic dick, "Get back to your quiz."

I carried on my student attitude and tried again to be part of the classwork, and not stare at _Miss Campbell_ being from anyone else's view I'm just a freaky stalker. The quiz was all about shit like which President did some cool thing and what was the date of something.

I can't concentrate, she knows loads of answers. I wouldn't copy her, I'm admiring her. I sign my name then relax again, at least if Stupid Sandal wants to be annoying about it I have a good alibi of missing three weeks worth of lessons.

The bell rings and I jump up, ready to talk to her. I don't want to make her late to next period but I need to know at least her name. She gathers her stuff while I wait. She is petite, especially compared to me. I feel obliged to be gentle and very careful with her. She looks a little frail, she isn't stick-thin, she is a little thin. I wonder how she'd react to my eating, she'd probably be shocked. So would most people though, except Sam.

She rests her rucksack on her right shoulder. I nearly reach out to take it from her, I restrain myself knowing it would be weird to do so without talking to her, introducing myself first. She wears a dark top, with buttons six buttons down from the neckline below her collarbone.

Her chest rises and falls dramatically as she breathes. I hope she's okay. I shake off my worry and stop staring at her softly, defined chest and see her. She walks past me and I follow her, walking with her. She looks up at me and for the first time, I feel self-conscious.

She looks, less than I had, more than most people do. More intently than most people. I smile at her and see her blush a little as she takes in my whole body.

When her eyes reach mine, they settle. My smile grows and I can't understand her expression. Her eyebrows hunched, in concentration or confusion? She smiles a little and I'm overcome with completeness. Her smile is so perfect. She has ideal teeth, any dentist would worship. And her deep lips accommodate them gently, their darkness making them all the whiter.

 **\\-**

 **Kim's Point of View**

I do not understand how this is actually real. It is kind of freaking me out. There is no reason that Jared Cameron would be looking at me like that. And I really don't understand why he _continued_ to look at me for so long.

The class has finally finished and I'm packing my things up. Not as neat as usual, as I, obviously, am still freaking out and nervous from the attention. Jared just grabbed his book and stood up once the bell went.

Everyone is starting to leave and Jared is just standing there, staring at me. Again. I start to walk out and he walks beside me. I feel minuscule, standing at five foot four, avarage. He was anything but.

Well over six feet, probably nearly six and a half foot. His whole body had changed. He is bigger, he is really muscular, as well as considerably taller. He can't have been that tall when he left school. I wouldn't be so surprised now. But I suppose I haven't been in very close proximity to notice. He has long, rounded muscles, making me feel a little weak in the knees.

I was getting caught up looking at him now. His hotness was overpowering. He has the russet skin and looked categorically like everyone else, but he is so much better. I know I must be biased but the beautiful brown eyes look deeper, like there is so much more to him. More secrets, more strength, more aloneness.

His black hair that used to be long, past his shoulders is now cropped short. It is unusual in La Push, practically everyone has long hair. He did look good, it is odd to see his face more. It is definitely better. His features were more defined. He is beautiful. As beautiful as I have imagined for the duration of his absence.

As I made this common observation, it was a fact really, no one could doubt it. He is hot. I always knew it but it seems more now, like it is more prominent since he changed in the three weeks. He was looking into my eyes. We were looking into each other's eyes. I tear away my eyes and start walking as quickly as I dared, knowing I would probably fall over at a moment like this, just to embarrass myself further.

I cannot believe after how much I hated him staring at me and I have just done the same to him. But standing in the middle of a classroom full of people. At least I had the decency to look away when I realised. He had been fully aware and had continued for the hourlong lesson.

He caught up with me swiftly, it was just a few steps for him.

" _Hey, I'm Jared_ ," He spoke with that carefree tone again, looking at me expectantly. The look, is still filled with more. It is depper, more desperate, happier and completely willing.

" _I know, erm, I'm Kim,_ " I stutter. Great, this is the first time I have ever spoken to my super crush and I am totally ruining it with not being able to speak like a real person. And admitting that I know exactly who he is.

" _So Kim, can I walk you to your next class_?" He asks and smiles at me. I have the most butterflies possible in my stomach and I feel like I am either going to be sick or faint. How could I possibly talk to him properly?! Why is he even talking to me?! Is he playing a practical joke on me?! Is this all just some joke at my expense, so he can laugh with his friends later?!

But he has been acting different all day. He wasn't talking to Paul and I haven't even seen him with anyone. And now he was talking to me, looking like the happiest person in the world.

That smile. It is killing me. It gives off a warm glow of happiness. And it is so bright, it could have been the sun. And I was stupidly too close. I was sunburnt. He would laugh. It must be a joke. It wasn't real. It wasn't possible. He had a girlfriend. He was too hot. Different leagues. Never going to happen. A joke.

" _No thanks_ ," I rushed. I shook my tears away as I raced down the hall way. I just about saw his face as I spoke and it had fallen from a great high. He looked like I had just told him he was dying as I ran off.

I darted into a disabled cubicle in the ladies toilets and sunk to the floor, weeping. I didn't like to cry, it made me feel even weaker but I couldn't help it. I never could. Not with my step dad. Not now. I could handle the physical pain from him, I had gotten used to it. But the emotional pain from Jared. No, it was too much.

I hated myself for believing that it could be possible. I was getting wrapped up in him, I didn't even really know him, I just knew about him. We didn't talk, we didn't walk to class together. It wasn't how life worked. It is not that kind.

 ** _\\-_**

 ** _Jared's Point of View_**

" _Hey, I'm Jared_ ," I tried to be normal and not declare me undying love for her, an almost stranger. It was a stupid introduction, I should have been cooler. She just looks at me, a little _hurt_?

What have I done? I'm such an insensitive douchebag. I know, this time I was trying to be a nice guy. I want to be the good guy for Kim. I need her to give me a chance. I need her to be okay. I need her full-stop.

" _I know, I'm Kim_ ," She says a little jittery. She is cute like a girl should be. I smile at her. She seems okay again. Wait, she knows me. Damn, she mustn't be new. I can't believe I didn't know that. I didn't know her. Kim. I didn't know Kim. How could I have _ever_ missed Kim. She was unavoidable. She was beautiful in every way. I can't tear my eyes away from her, how could I not have felt this before. Why now?

It must be a wolf thing, it feels so personal. Just mine and Kim's. I'm getting sidetracked, she is staring at the ground, her shiny hair a sheet over her. I want to hold her, feel her close to me, just enjoy her presence in my life. I know she could done better, I hope she chooses not to.

" _So Kim_ ," She looks up at me and I nearly forget what I'm saying, " _Can I walk you to your next class_?" I smile, unable to hold back my happiness.

The whole hour I've just wanted to know her name, Kim. Now I'm making normal conversation. My joy is short-lived. She looks away again, but I see tears in her eyes. I've made her sad? My heart literally just got crushed into a pile of little pieces and dust.

" _No thanks_ ," Kim mumbles, her lip quivering. My face falls as she turns away and practically runs towards the ladies room. I stand in shock. She looks back before she goes in and she looks even sadder when she sees my face. A tear breaks through and steams down her cheekbone, along her cheek and she rips herself away from me.

 **\\-**


	3. Chapter 2 - Life as it was

_**A/N** Hey, sorry for never updating. I will eventually I have up to chapter fourteen written on Kim's point of view and three for Jared since I wrote Kim first. I take forever to edit and I get obsessed with timelines and family trees so that the story is right, much to my annoyance though, it means I don't write as much as I want to. Anyway, thank you for reading and thank you so so much to the people who reviewed, it means a great deal to me that anyone likes this story._

Also, I have not really finished editing the chapter, sorry for grammer and spelling mistakes, they will be fixed.

Thank You!

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 **Disclaimer**

I do not own any characters or events in this story nor any other stories I put on this site. The characters and known events in 'The reaLities Of life' are owned by Stephenie Meyer. I make no economic profit from this story.

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 **Warning**

This chapter does include potentially disturbing scenes. They are definate M rated, I am not to be held responsible for any disruption about the chapter nor any sucseeding chapters that contain scenes that are unsuitable for young readers.

There is no condoning for the events of the chapter.

Please do not read if you are not an adult.

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 **Chapter** **Two - Life as it was**

 ** _Jared's Point of View_**

For a while I just stood there. I didn't know what to do. I needed Kim. But she hated me, I mean I made her cry. I don't know what I did, I'm sorry whatever it was. I never ever want to hurt her, no one can ever hurt her.

I needed a release so I decided to fuck Sam's rules and go for a run. I just walked out of school like I used to when my mates and I wanted to drink or smoke, except now it was to turn into a giant wolf. How life changes. I don't know what to do about Kim. Sam has the same problem, he imprinted on this girl, Emily -she's really nice- but he was kinda dating her cousin, Leah -who isn't so nice.

I wonder if Kim was my imprint, I've seen Sam's feelings for Emily and he has similar needs and wants, and it is strong. I was so caught up in Kim herself that I hadn't thought about imprinting. It makes sense. I am pulled to her like she is my gravity, not the world - Kim. I want to protect her and I intend to, when I stop being the problem.

Maybe I should tell Sam, I mean I'll have to eventually since we have pack mentality. I should definitely talk to him first so I don't just start showing him the more provocative thoughts of Kim. I run to his house.

He lives away from the centre of La Push, next to part of the forest. It literally connects to his back yard. Pretty convenient.

He bought it last summer a month after he phased. He needed his own space. Who knew he would let it get so bad. It's seriously messy and he hardly washes dishes. He doesn't even eat much. He's been better since I turned, trying to be a good alpha. He can't help thinking of Emily; the pain he is in knowing she won't take him back; she won't even give him a chance, because of Leah.

If only Emily knew what she was causing Sam to go through. He goes to the Makah Reservation, the next native town- every weekend. He needs to see her, he needs to try and make it right with her. She won't talk to him, she stopped answering the door when he calls and through Sam's thoughts, I can tell he just gets more hurt every time he goes. Nevertheless he can't stay away from her.

I hope Kim and I can get through this easier. It has been so hard on Sam and Emily. I'm torn already from being away from Kim. I feel right, complete, content when i'm with her. Without, I feel wrong, I know she is missing, she is my happiness.

 **/-**

 ** _Kim's Point of View_**

After sitting in the bathroom for twenty minutes, crying my eyes out over Jared, I decided it was enough. I couldn't go back to class, it would have started fifteen minutes ago. I was no way going into the middle of the class, with puffy, red eyes, just to get questioned for five minutes about why I was late. I couldn't just say what it really was, I'd be laughed at all over again. Humiliated.

I resolved that I would go home, no one would be in until later anyway and when my Mom got home from work, I would tell her I was really ill and couldn't stay in. We weren't close, I don't think we ever really were. She said my Dad and I were really close when I was younger, before he died. I don't remember him much, I was too young.

Since he died, we have grown further apart. She remarried quickly. I didn't hate her for remarrying or anything like that. I don't really mind that we aren't close. You can't miss what you've never had. Hopefully she would trust me though. She cares but she doesn't do much about it, she isn't a prominent part of my life. No people actually are.

I was walking down the corridor now. I had tried my best to stop the crying look, but I don't think I helped much. I would use it to my advantage, and say it was because I felt so rotten.

I got through the school without anyone seeing me, thankfully. And make the walk home. It wasn't particularly long but it was cold and long enough for me to wish I would go on a bus. I hated going on busses, because after school especially, there are loads of people on them and I worry about having to sit next to someone and then talk to them.

I am shy, but I'm mostly just a scaredy-cat. It is nice to walk, I don't do much exercise, I'm not sporty. At all. I am also a bit clumsy. So you really should watch out in P.E. if I have to throw a ball or something equally unrealistic.

When you walk, you get to see the scenery more. La Push is a beautiful place. We have a great beach for those rare sunny days. Or to just walk along and think. The forest is limitless and ever-present. I don't know how but it seems wherever you are in La Push you are near some part of the forest.

The trees were starting to loose their browned, and orange-toned leaves of the autumn. It was the second week of November, and nature was starting to show it. There was no snow or ice, only chilling winds. It still rained and it made me colder. Maybe I would be sick and wouldn't have to lie to my mother.

When I got home I showered, then changed into comfy, warm clothes. It might make me feel better that I wasn't lying but I didn't want to be sick. I picked out a nice sweater and puller in on. Feeling warmer already, but still cold enough to bare the slight itching of the fabric.

I went downstairs and watched tv. I didn't watch it much but since I was home alone and sure to have no interruptions, I though I might as well get up to date with the current shows. I usually just read. I was currently reading through SYou hakespeare and all his glory. It was hard but after a while I got used to it.

It was probably a good choice as it will likely help with some future English essay on Romeo and Juliet or something, I read that one first.

 **/-**

 ** _Jared's Point of View_**

I phase back to human me, pull on my cut offs which I tied around my ankle before I tuned at school. It's a handy trick, taught by Sam. I knock on Sam's door, desperate for advice on what to do about Kim. I need us to be okay but I don't know what or how to fix it. Sam answers, he wears the same cut offs. He actually gave mine to me a few days ago when I turned without taking my clothes off first and they were ripped to pieces.

"Hey Jared, what's up?" Sam asks gruffly, he has nags under his eyes, he hasn't slept well since he turned, life wasn't good for him.

"Hi Sam, I met a girl," I say unable to keep a smile off my face. I enter the house, the door opening into the kitchen, I sit down on one of the two rickety chairs.

"Did you break up with Penny?" Sam sits down across from me, his features showing his concern.

I forgot about Penny. She was nothing compared to Kim. Even when she ran away from me crying, she was nothing less than complete beauty. Okay sidetracked again. Penny.

"Well, no,"

"Jared, I'm no expert but you should probably break up with Penny properly, if you want a relationship with this other girl,"

"She isn't just some other girl, Sam, she's Kim," I correct him angrily. My shaking is triggered by Sam's disrespect to Kim. She is so much more than 'some other girl' she is 'the' girl, 'my' girl, Kim. How does he not get that.

"Jared, calm down," Sam commands and I feel my body return to a slight tremor instead of uncontrollable shaking.

"Sorry Sam," I mumble, "She is called Kim. And I love her,"

"What? Jared you've know the girl for a day!"

"Kim." I correct again, "She's incredible. I don't know what happened, she was just at her desk and then I saw her. Kim's beautiful, like nothing I've ever felt before. I love her and I need her, she is amazing. I want to see her."

Sam is silent for a minute as he processes what I told him. I hardly notice, I'm daydreaming about Kim. She really is everything a guy could wish for. Maybe I'll go see her letter, no, she might be freaked out. She hates me, I'll talk to her tomorrow, maybe she'll be easier to talk to tomorrow. I can't see her today, maybe I can just check on her. I could find her house if I turn later, and if I hear she is okay, I'll just wait to see her until tomorrow. If not, I have to see her.

I'll go by her house when I'm on patrol, never stopping, just going past to check she is okay. I'll check on her before I sleep then for the hours I am on patrol, I can run last her house, and I'll get to school real early so I don't miss a second of being with her. I wonder what classes we have together. I hope there are a lot. I didn't see her in any of my other classes, maybe I just didn't notice.

"Jared!" Sam shouts me, I must have been totally zoned out; he looks pretty annoyed.

"Sorry, what?"

"I was saying that it sounds like you imprinted on Kim," Sam looked sad, I felt bad for reminding him of Emily but I couldn't not talk about Kim with my only friend. "Imprinting is supposed to be rare, you remember the legend of Taha Aki and the third wife?"

The legends were our Tribe's legacy. I'd heard them before in school and at bonfires and community meetings and things like that but I'd never believed them until I became one. The shapeshifting abilities had been passed through the Quiluete Tribe for generations, if a possible wolf was close to a vampire for long enought, he would transition into a shapeshifter.

Taha Aki was the first shapeshifter, not the first one with magic in his blood -as the elders like to call it- he was the first to phase into a wolf. His third wife was normal, not carrying the magic. She had only courage, she sacrificed herself so Taha Aki could defeat the cold ones - vampires. The third wife was Taha Aki's imprint. It was so rare and special that the second he imprinted he wanted to marry her and he never loved anyone as much as her.

It makes more sense to me now than before. I didn't get his bond with her. I had felt and seen Sam's bond to Emily through his thoughts but feeling it yourself towards your own imprint is something else entirely. Kim is my imprint.

"Yeah, I remeber, she was his imprint," I answer Sam after thinking it through.

"Yes, Taha Aki and the third wife were special. They have an unbreakable bond, stronger than steel, stronger than love. Imprinting is supposed to be rare Jared. When I imprinted, the elders were shocked enough, they can tell you more about it than I can. They're going to be shocked when you tell them. Two out of two wolves imprinting is weird."

I nodded along in agreement.

"So what's Kim like?" Sam asked kindly, changing the conversation to my preference.

"Kim is the most wonderful person. I can't believe I didn't notice her sooner, I hate myself for not seeing her. I'm just grateful I did now, I'm worried it might be too late. I don't think I could live without her,"

"You'll make it right Jared, she may just be shocked at your sudden interest?"

"Yeah, I hope so. She is perfect Sam, I really don't want to fuck it up,"

"Don't worry too much Jared, it's only been one day, she'll come around?"

 **/-**

My one hope in life was now Kim forgiving me, accepting me and being with me. It is a lot ask, I know, I'd never ask for anything again if I could just have Kim.

Sam and I agreed that we would tell the elders at the next bonfire, it might be next Saturday or maybe later. He said it would give me time to work it out with Kim and time to think about what I would say to the elders, so I didn't totally freak them out.

Sam also told me to break up with Penny, I accepted that too. I knew I had to, and it's not like I was close to Penny or even liked her much, I'm selfish. I can't be bothered dealing with stupid things like a real break up with a girl I don't really care about.

My Mom would be ashamed of me right now, acting so self-centred. She can't know about all of the wolf stuff, it's part of her too. She still can't know. Only the elders and wolves can know, and their imprints. A few others know too, like Sue Clearwater, her husband -Harry Clearwater, an elder- told her. Sue, being Leah's mom and Emily's aunt, wasn't pleased about the imprinting thing. She never stood in the way though so she's cool.

My Mom would be cool about it too. Sam and the elders know it's hard to keep secrets, most of them have family they can't tell -Sam can't tell his Mom either. As protectors of the Tribe we have to honour the rules set by our forefathers, we can't endanger people by letting them onto our world of vampires and shapeshifting. They'd think we were crazy anyway.

I'm home now. I walked, instead of ran this time. It's easier than going a long route through the forest and then walking home from the wrong direction. I'm going to see Penny soon, first I'll eat and put a normal amount of clothes on. When I'm in school I wear full-length jeans and a shirt. I'm so hot, seriously, my body temperature is like 10 degrees above the norm for humans.

When I'm out, with Sam and around patrolling, I only wear some cutoff jeans. I have ruined so many clothes, I don't have many left. Sam is a constant source, he stocks up every few weeks, must cost him a fortune. Mom isn't pleased about it wither, since she has no clue, I don't know what she thinks I'm doing to wreck all of my clothes. It's probably not anything she's want me doing.

I open the unlocked door to my house. It's a little worn, inside and out, and cosy, like a home should be. We repaint every few years, Mom always wanting it to look better. She can't afford to refurbish or get someone in to do it all, so we make do together.

Dad moved out six months ago. Since then Mom hasn't been herself. She hasn't made her famous apple pie or had any home projects, which is her usual hobby. Hopefully she'll be happy soon, Dad is. He hasn't really live here in a few years, he travels for his job and he met a girl at one of his regular places. She was younger and apparently prettier than Mom.

Now she's had a baby, Adam. I've met him once. He is all pink and small, probably cute, babies aren't my thing. Maybe someday, with Kim. We'd be a really happy family, I would never cheat on her. She is too good a person to cheat on me.

"Mom, I'm home," I shout out to her.

She comes bustling out of the kitchen wearing her apron. She loves to cook. Kt's a good sign, she looks happy.

"Hey Honey, how was your day? Are you hungry?" She asks, she still looks tired, maybe she's improving.

"It was good Mom. Yeah I'm starving,"

I sit down at our kitchen counter and Mom serves me a big plate of food. It tastes so good, I don't even bother to note what meal it was. To me it was warm and tasty.

"Gosh, Jared, I don't get how you can eat so much, so fast," She smiles at me.

I shrug, I love my mom. She is so nice. I decide to indulge her and tell her about Kim.

"I met a really cool girl called Kim today, Mom,"

She leans more comfortably on the counter, while I finish another mouthful, waiting patiently for me to continue.

"She is unbelievable, so pretty and smart. You'd like her. She seems shy but I think theres more to her than that,"

"What about Penny, Honey," She asks comcerned, like Sam did.

"Erm, well, I'm going to break up with her today,"

"Well, if you're sure about Kim, then it's the best thing to do,"

"Thanks Mom,"

I wash the plate for her and head to the stairs to put on some decent clothes. I find a normal pair of jeans, some nearly matching socks, a T-shirt and a pair of boxers. I'm victorious in my foraging, I won't be so lucky next time so I grab some clothes from the floor and put them in the washing backet.

When I'm washed and dressed, I leave for Penny's. I kiss my Mom's cheek as I leave and get into my truck, using all of my will power to face Penny and not drive to Kim instead.

 **/-**

 ** _Kim's Point of View_**

It was passing five when my mom got home. I didn't want to be lounging on the couch watching tv when she came in, it was unusual for me. So I had left for my room to read a half hour ago.

"Kim, why did I get a call from your school today to tell me you missed last lesson?" She shouted up to me, reviving me from the works of Shakespeare further than the slamming door had.

I went downstairs, mentally preparing what I was going to say.

"I left early because I felt really sick, sorry Mom," I answered, hoping for her usual ignorance to my existance.

"Yeah, okay then, hope you feel better soon," She accepted it and then left the room. So I copied and went to my bedroom.

My stepdad come home an hour and half later. He didn't have a particularly good job, but he did work long hours to get extra money. Which was good and bad. Good because I had time in the morning, without him, I got up as he left and my mother was usually very quick in the mornings so she got up a half hour before her job started at nine. I was effectively alone in the house every morning.

I only had an hour, maybe a little more before my mom got home after work and soon after my stepdad would come home, so the evenings were not my favourite.

His long job is also a very bad thing because it stressed him out more than the one he had a few years ago did. This means he gets worse, it's always quite bad now. He needs the outlet more. He hits harder, he is angrier. He is meaner, he had a bad day. He is completely rougher, so it really hurts, he wants to see me cry, so he knows he does something well. Even if it is rape and abuse.

Hopefully tonight he would be in a good mood. I didn't want to have to experience any more hurt today. Soon that would be all my life seemed to have. And I didn't want that, I didn't want to give in to that. I wanted to fight, to be stronger. But I am not and I don't think I could take anything in stride anymore. I would cry and it would be worse and that would be my life.

"Hey Babe, i'm home," He called out to my Mom as he walked in. It was routine but I still wasn't sure it was a good day. The only good thing about my stepdad is that he doesn't hurt my Mom, he never has. He might actually love her, if I though him capable. He must in his own way because if he didn't he would hurt her as well. Or maybe she would be stronger and report him, like I could never do.

To stop me reporting him or telling anyone he tells me that I'll go into care, people won't believe me or it would upset my Mom and she'd never forgive me. I know these things might not happen but I don't want to upset my Mom. Thats the one I believe the most, she would be hurt that she married a bad guy and for so long and then she'd be annoyed at me for not telling her because she could face charges over inadequate child care.

I honestly wouldn't know how to start telling someone anyway. It's not like you can just walk up to someone and say 'Hey, I though you should know, I get abused and raped by my stepdad, its been happening for over two years, and no one knows, my Mom has never found out and I have covered up the bruises.' People would probably think I was lying if I just randomly came out with it.

I just have to remember that in under two years I will have finished high school and can move out. Go to university in Seattle or Washington, I might be able to get a scholarship somewhere far away and then I'll be okay. I can get over this shit and have a normal life. I can be happy.

Now that my stepfather was home, my mom was finishing their dinner. They would eat and then go into the living room to watch tv for a while. When they had eaten their meals, I went quietly downstairs to eat mine. Sometimes I made myself tea, but most of the time I just wanted to be downstairs as little as possible. So as not to see him, or have an awkward encounter with my mother.

I grabbed some leftovers and carefully sneaked back up to my room. For the rest of the evening once I had finished with the food, I brought it down, binned what I hadn't eaten and washed, dried and put away the plate. I finished my book and went to bed early at half nine.

 **/-**

 ** _Jared's Point of View_**

I drove for a short few minutes to Penny's house. Her Mom opened the door, she doesn't like me. I don't blame her, I wasn't very good to her daughter. I just I'm better with Kim. Penny deserved better, I was a jerk. Mrs Alderson scowls at me as I walk into the house.

"Penny's in her room," She tells me unfavourably.

I take this as permission to go upstairs and see Penny. No doubt Mrs Alderson would want me as far away rom her daughter as possible and was happy when I avoided her for the past three weeks.

I knock on a plain part of Penny's door. It's covered in quotes and hearts, like the rest of her room. She comes to her door, standing in the doorway, hating me.

"What do you want Jared? Have you come to beg me to take you back?" She purrs at me.

Penny is the kind of girl who any body would love to fuck. She is hot, with curled blond hair, she is half Quiluete on her Mom's side. She is skinny but curvy. Very cjrvy, she always wears low-cut tops, showing lots of her desirable cleavage and low rose jeans, accentuating her curves.

I used to nearly drool at the sight of her when she hit puberty. She was always pretty, when she lost her childhood chubbiness she got really hot. Now I don't see her in that way, I still remember how she looked to me. I just don't feel anything for her. I mean I know she'd still be good to sleep with but I'd rather be with Kim, no matter what we were doing.

Kim literally is the only girl I see. They're there, girls are still there, except now they're just people. I don't notice their ass first, more who they are. Kim is the only one I want and I would never disrespect her by being such a jerk. I love who she is not just her body. She is perfect because of who she is and she is amazing because she also has a good body and is the most beautiful person ever.

Opps. Penny is trying to get my attention, saying my name and she tries to shove me, she only hurts her hand on my arm. I don't mean to brag but my muscles are hard as stone.

"Penny, I think we should break up," I distract her from her hand and put it out there.

"What?" She stares at me, her mouth slightly open.

"I wanna break up, for real, I mean we're already kind of broken up since we haven't seen each other in weeks and-

"Yeah, we haven't seen each other in weeks because you've been off school for some unexplained reason and avoiding me!" She shouts at me.

"Look, Penny, it's not you, I just haven't been ready to go back to school yeah and I needed ti-"

"What, you needed time, Jared?"

"Well, yeah. It was a hard time-

"Are you kidding me? You had a hard time? Are you sure you weren't just too much of a pussy to go school after a bad hangover?"

"No, Penny, I didn't mean to hurt you, I-

"Well you did! If you were just going to break up with me, why didn't you do it at the start and be a man about it?"

"I can't explain it, I'm sorry,"

"You can't explain anything Jared. You can't tell me why you're breaking up with me, and you can't me why you were off for a month!"

"I really can't, it's not just mine to tell,"

"You know what Jared, I don't care anymore. You can fuck off!" Penny screams at me over dramatically. She starts throwing things at me. First a hair brush, then an empty cup. She stares in shock when it bounces off me so hard that it hits the wall and shatters.

She sinks down onto her bed, her face in her hands, repeating 'fuck you, Jared'. I'm not offended, I was expecting this reaction. I apologise and try to make it better. I want to be good in my role as a protector our people, today I'm only hurting people. Penny is having none of it. She pushes me away, I let her.

After a few minutes I realise I'm not doing her any good. I tell her 'I'm sorry' and 'goodbye' and leave, avoiding seeing her parents disapproving looks.

I want Kim. I drive home and leave my clothes there, grabbi ng a spare pair of cutoffs from my truck and tying them around my ankle. I do this in the forest so no one sees me and when I've phased, I race to the nearest forest to Kim's house. I didn't know where she lived so I trace her smell from school, since the forest is near.

Her smell gets strongest outside a nice, plain house out of the centre of La Pish, into a suburban street, near First Beach. It's not very late but I figure as long as I can't hear any disruptions and I can hear her breathing okay, I'll accept it and go home.

As it turns out I can hear her breathing evenly, her breath catches every so often when she becomes more aware. I think she's awake, I don't know what she's doing though. Maybe she's reading?

Content with her wellbeing after a good half hour, maybe more, I run home and get as much sleep as I can before my four thirty patrol starts. I get to sleep easier than usual, knowing Kim is okay and tomorrow I will make it right with her.

 **/-**

 ** _Kim's Point of View_**

My stepdad and Mom went to bed around eleven. Not too late but they both had jobs in the morning. I was a light sleeper so I woke up as they came up the stairs to their room. My Mom and me were opposites in that way, she was quite a heavy sleeper and went to sleep as soon as her head hits the pillow, so to speak. Whereas I take time, to relax enough to sleep.

So I was still awake fifteen minutes later when my stepdad came in.

"Kim," He started. "I know you're awake, you always are," He sung, happy that I could never sleep once I heard he was still up after my mom had gone to bed.

"Come on, you know there is no point resisting," He continued to speak with a sly, sickening smile, only visible in the pale moonlight, along with the shadows around him, giving him an even creepier appearance.

He hated wasting time he could have hurting me. Moving slowly from the doorway, he pulled my shoulder down so I was facing more to him. So I was laying on my back and staring straight at the ceiling, I didn't want to look at him, seeing it always made it more real, it was harder to get rid of the image later, it would haunt me. In thoughts in the day and nightmares whenever I could sleep.

My resistance to him counted for nothing, he grabbed my face, holding me around the jaw, too tight. Turning me - forcing me - to look at him. He looked at me with disgust and then pushed my face back. I wasn't good enough, even for him.

"Don't be such a disrespectful bitch," He begun verbal abuse. This was a great start. I could already feel the tears ready to spill at the back of my eyes. It was dark and hopefully he wouldn't see. I just had to keep quiet. I was never very lucky, as you might have guessed, of course he saw.

"Oh, Kimmy, you never learn, when you cry it only annoys me more. I'll have to punish you as always," He complained angrily but I knew he was also pleased. Every time he had some sort of reason. It could be that he needed it, it could be for fun, it could be because I was a bitch, or his favourite he was angry and needed to let it out.

I whimpered as he yanked my pyjama top off. He liked to see the remnants of his past conquers. It felt even worse when he made me naked, I couldn't keep any part of my body. He owned it. He did what he liked with me.

"Shut up!" He ordered. "Its a shame you don't like it like this but you know it isn't about you. You don't matter. I will do what I want. And now its going to be more painful for you, for being such a bad girl," He was sickening. I would have puked, I did the first time but I paid for it so I learnt that rule quickly. It's a shame I couldn't grasp the others as well.

Next, my pyjama pants were nearly ripped as he tore them off me. He marvelled at the faint yellower bruises, hardly noticeable now, but he knew they were still there. I used all my will to keep my legs together while covering my chest with my arms. He was too strong for me, he easily prised them apart. His hold on my legs would make deep bruises on the inside of my thighs that would stay for weeks, if not longer.

"Stupid Kim, these panties are far too old for you. I though you didn't want to be a bad girl. You'd never misbehave at school, why do you still object to following my rules. Only dirty girls wear lacy panties." He sneared, pleased he had found another of his reasons to go hard on me tonight. I usually wore plain white panties but today I wasn't paying attention when I dressed and now had a pair of white panties which had red lace along the seems. Not particularly bad, but bad enough for a punishment.

"Naughty girls must get punished Kim, when you dress like this you must be treated in that way," He pulled them off and put them in his pocket. He saw my line of sight follow them and added, smiling, "I'm a good guy Kim, I'm helping you avoid making the same mistakes, you can't get into trouble for wearing naught underwear if I have them,"

"Stop trying to hide Kimmy, I want to see all of you, and I will," He moved my arms and held them stiff to my sides, " If you move them again, I'll have to be stricter with you. You can't be a bad girl Kim,"

His knees were holding my legs open now, awaiting his arrival. One of his hands supporting his weight the other gripping my right breast. He was proving it was all his.

He began ramming into me, making me feel sick again. It was too hard, I would probably bleed. It would make him happy he to have such an effect. He groans, saying how he likes it like this because it made me tighter the tenser I was. It´s horrible. He had sexually abused me for the 142nd time.


	4. Chapter 3 - Something Better

**Chapter Three : Something Better**

 **Kim's Point of View**

It was the early morning before I got to sleep. How could I, seeing his face every time I closed my eyes, it was impossible to forget. I had cried silently for hours and the headache and vision meant I had a terrible nights sleep. It was to be expected, I could never accustom myself to be prepared for him. I was however, used to the emotional turmoil that followed.

The bruises were already forming. Harsh blues and purples, they looked so wrong against my standard red-brown skin. They could never look right anyway, the odd contrast of the colours simply made it worse.

They were all over me too. Across each shoulder, dotted against my stomach, my arms, and the inside of my thighs, on my chest. You could see each part of my body he has touched. If bruises hadn't formed, the places were red and hurt. I didn't want to look at myself. I wouldn't be wearing anything revealing for weeks. Good thing it was winter.

I woke easily at my alarm. Feeling straight off the pain of where he had held me down. There was some blood visible on my sheets from him ramming into me harder than I could take. It was a good thing I got up quickly as it was harder to move, my whole body ached. But it wasn't the worst i'd been by far so I couldn't stay off.

I took two tylenol for the pain and took the packet with me, for later at school. The pain was sure to return soon after the four hours. I couldn't chance anyone noticing I was hurt. Next I put my bed sheets into the washing machine. I couldn't risk my Mom noticing either. Despite the unlikelihood.

I shower carefully, making sure not to look at myself in the mirror. I don't want to think about it now the pain is starting to fade. I dress for cold weather, as it nearly was. Thanksgiving is in a few weeks, I am looking forward to it. My mom and stepdad were going on holiday, they didn't tell me where, I assume it will be somewhere sunny. I would have the house to myself for a week, I'm off school from the wednesday until the following monday so I have five days all to myself.

The holidays were what I focused on to think positively, well less negatively. It would never be for the same reason as anyone else I knew but I was certainly looking forward to it. I wouldn't have to fake my excitement for the time off school.

/-

 **Jared's Point of View**

The sun is up somewhere in the clouds. The best part of my early morning patrol shift -seeing the transition from night to day, the light the sun really gives. It's naturally beautiful, like Kim. So simple, so extraordinary.

I've finished my patrol, Sam'll be up soon and patrolling while I'm at school. I run past Kim's house before I go home and get ready to see her at school. It's about seven a.m. so Kim will probably be getting ready for school. On cue I hear a shower stop and a light footsteps walking into a room and shutting the door. It must be Kim, the car is gone, so at least one of her parents will have gone to work.

A wardrobe opens, a drawer, I can hear Kim breathing. It's not a relaxed breath, not fast either. A bit jumpy and then calmer and then it catches and it is jumpy again, it continues. I wonder why?

I'm going to be late if I sit in a forest listening to Kim breathe any longer. I need to get back to normality. These are the small things I should notice months into a relationship. Kim and I don't even have a relationship yet. My goal of the date is to get somewhere on that front.

I run home, shower and look for nice clothes. Some clean jeans, boxer-briefs, mismatching socks, matching sneakers and a t-shirt. Score. Finally a normal outfit. I'll have to ask Mom for more new clothes, this is getting bad. Its nearly seven thirty so I race out of the house and jump into my truck.

It takes less than three minutes to drive to school. I was going at my preferable speed of as-fast-as-my-truck-can-go. Having wolf abilities means I have really good reaction time, so it's safe. There is about five people around school when I get there. I regret getting here so early, it'll be worth it when Kim gets here.

I don't want to miss her when she does get here so I lean on the wall by the entrance to the building. She'd have to walk past me. I'll be cool, say 'hey', tell her 'I'm sorry'. We can talk, maybe even make plans. I should ask for her number. Okay I'm getting obsessive, I'm just going to cool, be myself, and talk to her.

/-

I'd be cold after standing outside school for ten minutes, if I wasn't a shapeshifter. Kim isn't here yet. What if something happened to her? What of she isn't coming to school today? Where is she? Even if she does come, I don't know what to say. I hate being so worried about talking to a girl. It's Kim. I want everything to be perfect. I know I'm going to mess it up. If yesterday taught me anything, it's that Kim and I talking isn't working.

How are we going to have a relationship if we can't speak to each other. I'm such a girl right now. It's a good thing Paul and I aren't hanging out anymore or I'd be saying this aloud and getting punched in the face. Sam says Paul will be the next Quileute to turn. Paul has been growing and getting angrier in the last month or so. That was my clues.

When will I tell Kim about all of this wolf stuff. Will she be cool? Or will she be freaked out and never talk to me again? This could go so wrong.

Kim. I'm so caught up in worrying about her. She walks past me and I swiftly catch up. She looks gorgeous with her dark hair, wispy in the faint wind and her cheeks rosy from the November cold. I can't hold back my worry.

"Kim, are you okay?" I break, "What happened yesterday, what did I do to upset you?"

Being normal and cool was obviously not happening for me when I was around Kim. I needed to know that she was okay. It didn't matter that I wasn't cool. She was my only priority. She hasn't answered me.

"Whatever it is, I am honestly really sorry," I beg her. All of my guilt weighing me down is shown. I'm a mess when it comes to Kim. She makes me who I truly am, not as cool as I pretend to be. I'm me when I'm with her. Kim looks straight ahead at the empty corridor, I can see her wavering.

"No, Jared," Kim stops and turns to face me, "Uh, it was my fault, I was, erm, having a bad day. That's all," She says shakily.

Kim is so cute. She is shy but always trying not to be. Wait, she was having a bad day. I want to know everydetail. If someone had ruined it for her, they were dead. If Kim just didn't enjoy it, it was now my role to make every day of hers wonderful. She deserves the best. Maybe it's best not to pry so soon, she'd tell me if she wanted me to know.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kim, hopefully today will be a better one,"

I try to be reassuring and smile at her. She looks a little startled, so I tone it down a but. It's hard to not be honest with Kim. She brings it out in me. She is blushing, she must have realised it too. She looks down and hides her face with her hair.

I want to tuck her hair behind her ear and tell her that she doesn't have to hide, not from me. She is beautiful and I love her, why would she hide from me. I'm getting carried away again. Lost in thoughts of myself and Kim. I look at her, she lights up my world.

"Whats your first class?" I ask her gently, she still stares at the floor.

"Algebra,"

"Me too,"

I resume walking, Kim follows, I slow considerably, to her comfortable speed. We walk together in a comfortable silence to the maths classroom. We're pretty early so no one is in the classroom. I gesture for Kim to enter the room first, holding the door open. If I can't talk normally to her, I can at least be nice guy. I worry I'm filling up too much of the doorway, Kim, being small glides past me easily.

She isn't small compared to normal people but there must be a foot difference between us. She is the right height to put my arm around and hold close to me. I promise myself that we'll be there soon. I don't know if I can refrain myself from her much longer.

She sits down at her seat and I sit next to her and decide we've got enough time for a conversation. I can appease me need for her by at least asking her out. I'm giddy at the though. My huge smile might put her off so I try to look casual again and start a conversation with the girl I love.

/-

 **Kim's Point of View**

I arrive at school fifteen minutes early. Jared is leaning on the wall outside the main entrance. He looks worried, I wonder why? I though he would have laughed, he had nearly tricked me in history, he should be pleased the joke worked well enough to make me cry.

As I walk past he sees me and leaps to my side. He is staring at me again. But this time it wasn't a happy, lighting-up-the-world stare, it was a worried stare. He was worried about 'me'? If he keeps wanting to talk to me I am going to become perturbed about his mental wellbeing. Worrying about me couldn't be real. It just wouldn't happen. If for some unimaginable it was true, he had definitely banged his head somewhere.

"Kim, are you okay?" So it was the crazy scenario, "What happened yesterday, what did I do to upset you?" He seemed genuinely interested and distressed with guilt. I could feel myself falling again.

"Whatever it is I am honestly really sorry," It was not real. But I couldn't get past those pleading, sad eyes. I could never upset him further.

"No, Jared," I start trying to talk like a normal person, "Uh, it was my fault, I was, erm, having a bad day. Thats all," I mumble but he seems to understand. Apparently he has super hearing as well as total hotness. Damn, I am never getting over this crush.

I felt better telling a half truth, lying wasn't good and I wasn't the best liar anyway, so its better to stick as close to the truth as possible. In this case it wasn't a bad day seeing as I don't think he was tricking me, he seemed too kind now. It was however, a bad night.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kim, hopefully today will be a better one," He smiles at me, showing his almost perfect, white teeth. And making me feel like I am going to faint. I try to smile back a little, I'm going too red from Jared talking to me, but I want to look happy instead of depressed. I am happy, Jared, my crush of years had noticed me and it didn't appear to be a trick. If I found out later it was, I'd just focus on how Jared had smiled at me, noticed me and talked to me like he cared.

He walked to class with me. We had algebra, thankfully for my grade, he was sitting on the opposite side of the room, so I could usually focus enough to do some of the work. I don't think I'm going to be able to do that today though. I'm too happy and taken aback by Jared's sudden interest.

We were really early so when I sat down he sat next to me. Surprising me further. Oh God. He is going to talk to me. Soon people would walk in and they'd laugh at me and we would certainly get more weird looks. Especially after history with him staring so much then me being absent. This was going to be a disaster! Did he not get that? Or is this another joke.

Okay I really need to calm down. I said I was just going to enjoy it while it lasted. Whatever it is. And I am sure Jared is a nice guy, he was really concerned about me earlier.

"So Kim," My thoughts were interrupted, "Do you want to hang out after school,"

All thought process had stopped. Does not compute. My brain has now turned into a robot CPU (Central Processing Unit) and I could not understand what was going on. I finally answer with "Uh, erm. Yeah?"

"Haha," Great, the only boy that has ever looked at me before (and couldn't stop) is laughing at me. What did I expect? "You shouldn't answer questions with another question," He joked, "But i'm taking that as a 'Yes Jared, I'd love to spend time with you,'" I blush tomato-red but I'm smiling. When a cute boy does a terrible impression of a girl, even when it's you, it's funny.

"Why don't you talk much Kim?" He asked seriously as though it wasn't an obvious answer.

"I'm shy," I said simply, trying to feel calm so I didn't mess up my words.

"Okay," He pauses, in thought, "Why?"

"Why what?" I'm confused now.

"Why are you shy?" Oh I'm surprised, I hadn't expected a followup. No one has ever though much about it before. Now of all people Jared Cameron was asking. I still didn't understand his random fascination with me.

"I, uh, I don't know. It's just hard to talk to people sometimes, and I suppose, I, I don't really trust anyone," I answered completely truthfully. I like being honest with Jared. It would feel wrong to lie to him when he was looking into my eyes. I kept looking away but every time I look at him, he is still staring with that wonder I couldn't comprehend.

His face fell again. If I keep making him feel so sad I would end up crying from guilt.

"You don't trust anyone? No one at all?" He is upset. But his face was turning angry, disgusted almost. And he was starting to shake a little. "What about your parents Kim?"

"Erm, My dad died when I was little, my mom and I aren't close and Uh, I don't know, I don't get on great, with my, erm, my stepfather." It isn't a lie. I don't like talking to him. I don't talk to him much but I have to act pleasant around him for my mom.

"I'm sorry Kim," Jared is quite angry now. I have no clue why. Maybe he is upset I'm not telling him the whole story. He notices my muddled face with my bewilderment. He calms down a bit. "I just think your mom and stepdad should be better to you. Parents are supposed to be people you trust. They should not be the reason you don't want to trust people," He explains. Maybe he knew the feeling? Maybe he just understood?

"Um, thanks, Jared," I answer, blushing. He is pretty good at acting like he cared. So good, I believe him.

"It's fine Kim, I can't believe anyone wouldn't want to be close to you," Jared said looking deeply into my eyes. I can feel my blush getting considerably worse but I can't look away however nervous I was. I was transfixed with him too.

'Bring' 'Bring' 'Bring'

The bell for first period made me jump. Jared smiled, I mentally faint as he turns and goes to his seat for the class.

/-

 **Jared's Point of View**

'Bring' 'Bring' 'Bring'

I groaned in my head at the stupid bell, forcing me to part with Kim. I was perfectly content looking into Kim's honest eyes. Her long, dark lashes, usually trying to hide them, were fully open so she could see me. It was a moment, I wished would never end. I hope she felt the same.

Super hearing means I heard the bell a second before she did so I was back to looking at her in time to see her jump. She was shocked by the bell so much, that she jumped. I almost felt back about finding it funny. I didn't laugh at her or anything just smiled. She was okay, so it was okay to make a joke out of it.

I forced myself out of the chair next to Kim and back to my own at the back of the classroom. It feels wrong without her next to me. I love the ease of being with Kim. I'm proud of myself anyway. We had a normal conversation. I learn about her. I hate that she doesn't trust people, I can feel my temper rising instantly when I think of her saying that.

I need to fix it for her. Kim is better than who ever made it hard for her to trust people. They should be suffering, not her. She said it so quietly and uncertainly. It pains me that I can't make this better for Kim. I will one day. One day I'll be at a place with Kim, where I can stand up for her, look after her, love her and tell her.

Miss has come in and I focus on looking to the front of the class. At Kim. She sits next to the wall at one of the front desks on the left aisle. I would have stayed sitting next to her but I'm not sure she wants me to. We've just started talking so I think it would freak her out a bit. We'll just take it slow.

I don't want Miss telling me off, she'd be the third teacher so far, so I open my algebra book and copy down the equations and methods. It makes sense so I do the necessary work for her satisfaction.

Kim is slowly writing. Sam says I have really advance sight, even for a wolf. Today I'm really thankful for it. I look at Kim's writing and can make out she has her math book open and her notebook, like she did in History. She has done the first five equations out of eight. I correct my second one, seeing my mistake.

Her notebook is what really catches my eye. I saw my name yesterday, today it's there again, on a different page. I really hope it's good. I think, yeah, she wrote 'Jared & Kim' in her nicest writing. I know it's stupid butI literally feel high seeing this. I feel pretty guilty too, I don't want to invade Kim's privacy. She probably wouldn't want me reading it.

I regret doing it now, after thinking about Kim. Every time I do think about her, I think about her writing our names together and I'm estatic. She gives me hope that we will have a future together. If she wants me I'll be hers forever.

Kim agreed to hang out with me later. I don't know if it's a date in girl terms but I want it to be one. I don't even care what we do, if we make out, or kiss at all or not. Kim is about more than that to me. I want to know more about her. I hate not knowing who she really is.

I'll ask her every question later; her favourite colour, movie, tv show, subject. I'll talk to her about books, which one she is reading, what kind she likes, how many she has raed. I'm not a fan but she was reading last night and she's not in my English class, she is much smarter than me so she must be higher than a middle set. I bet she is in top set.

I'm actually shocked we are in the same math class. It mustn't be a subject she likes. I wonder what is. I don't mind math, I don't particularly like it either. I'm proud that I'm good enough to be in the same set as her for something. Maybe she won't think I'm too stupid or dull for her. I know I'm selfish, I need her.

/-

 **Kim's Point of View**

Algebra that day was an easy lesson. I was in no way good at it but I understood the formulae for today. It's a shame I couldn't concentrate enough to complete any of the actual work.

Jared is on my mind. His smile. His looks. His anger at my mom and stepfather. How we were going to hang out later. How he cared.

The lessons all went quickly. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad one. Being with Jared would be a dream come true, if I wasn't in fact still dreaming. But it could be bad, knowing me I would embarrass myself in every way possible at the worst time. All I can do is hope for the best.

The most interesting part of the day - after talking to Jared in Algebra - was lunch. Jared wasn't in the cafeteria for the whole of lunch but I found out later that he was in the other lessons preceding lunch.

Jared's vacancy wasn't why lunch was interesting today though. It was the gossip that spiked my attention. Jared had left his on-again-off-again girlfriend of the past six months devastated last night as he had broken up with her. He and Penny had been the school's leading couple and were at the very top of the social ladder together.

Apparently according to Christie he had gone over to her house after school and he told her they couldn't be together anymore. He didn't give her any real reasons just that it wouldn't work out between them. She was already mad because he didn't talk to her about why he was off school and he ignored her calls the whole time.

She had even gone to his house in the weeks he was off. His mother had refused to let her in. She told Penny that Jared wasn't in a state to see people right then. Christie guessed that Penny was so annoyed the day after it in school, was because Mrs Cameron had really gave her a talking to. Christie exaggerates and basically lives of rumours in school.

Knowing Mrs Cameron, as everyone knows everyone in La Push with there being only 750 people. I found that particular one hilarious, I could imagine her, completely honest, telling Penny exactly what she though. She must have known Jared would break up with her otherwise she'd only ever be pleasant but Jared talks to his Mom. They're close as it's only them.

His Dad is always away on work trips. The general understanding is he has a girlfriend where he works so he stays with her for months then returns to Jared and his Mom for a week only to go again for longer each time.

Tom added that he heard Penny cried the whole night and Jared did attempt to comfort her but she refused to let him near her. Tom also said that Penny had thrown a cup at him and it literally bounced off him. I didn't believe that one. The rumour mill at our school sure gave out a few weird ones.

/-

 **Jared's Point of View**

Patrol is killing me. Sam wanted to see Emily again today so he is driving the ninety minutes to Makah to see her. It was only Friday that he saw her last, now I've imprinted too I understand. It doesn't mean I'm okay with missing time that I could be spending with Kim.

Sam texted me during break and told me I had to do a patrol for a few hours starting at lunch since he couldn't be there. He usually runs around La Push from eight until he gets too hungry to continue. He could always hunt in the forest. We occasionally do. Raw meat isn't preferable to cooked food.

Speaking of food. I was starving. I usually am, it's a wolf thing. I'd grabbed a couple sandwiches from the canteen before I left school. They hardly filled me though. If I cam across a deer or something I'd have to eat, otherwise I'd never be able to concentrate with Kim later.

Kim. I'd come back to school in time for last period so I can pick her up. If we are staying out late I hope she wants to go somewhere and eat. I hope we spend all night together. I'll be able to make up for the lost time we could have spend together in history, later.

/-

I've ran the perimeter of the town over a hundred times. It's about three o'clock, school will be ending soon. I race through the strong green forest, near school and focus on Kim. When I was first trying to phase back to a human, Sam told me to think about what made me human, the people, the feelings, love, friendship, soppy stiff like that. Although it took me a while, eventually it worked.

Now it simply takes one though of Kim and I'm human me.

Sam'll be satisfied that I've patrolled the town, he should be back in an hour or two, and he'll patrol again for a while. He takes our role as protects really seriously, I get it, it means a lot to me now too because all I want to do is protect Kim.

I find the tree where I left my clothes and put them on. I peek out of the forest and when no one is looking, stroll out as if it were completely normal for me to have gone for a walk in the woods in the middle of the day.

The corridors are empty, which is a good sign because I'll have to focus to find Kim. I can sniff her out so I don't miss a second with her. It works best when I'm a wolf. The abilities are still there, only less accessible.


End file.
